When I was a kid, I sat in Bible studies at our church and listened to adults talk about their recent conversion to Christianity. Reactions from family and close friends were common concerns they had. Yes, becoming a Christian meant returning to the religion of their family for many, but for others it meant turmoil and being different.
For the latter, their parents, siblings, or close friends often worried about the new faith they embraced. Did they join a cult? Would this mean that they’d have to listen to preaching at every family Thanksgiving or Christmas?
I bring this up because I realize I’m in a similar situation for the first time in my life and I’m just now to the point where I’m capable of talking about it. In my case, I’ve not converted to a new religion, rather, I’ve departed from it entirely.
This is not an easy thing to do for someone whose career, family, and friends are all part of my former faith.
So what led me to disbelief?
I have an article in The Chronicle of Higher Education this week, in which I discuss my reasons for leaving my full-time faculty position at Winebrenner Theological Seminary last year. I tell a small part of that story by looking at my journey into secular humanism and my hesitations for even discussing it publicly.
This isn’t an easy article for me to publish, but as someone whose life is driven by writing, I’ve felt that if I was to continue on writing, then this piece is a necessary ripping-off of the band aid. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t also worried about how the people I love might feel.
How I got to this point in life is detailed (in part) in my article at The Chronicle of Higher Education, so I have no intentions of repeating it all here. I will say that I’ve always been a very curious person who tries to challenge himself and his conclusions about life. And while I can only speak for myself, this means that if I go where I think the evidence leads, then change—even big change—must happen.
As Joseph Joubert once said, “Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth.”
I intend to explore the reasons for my new outlook over time, but for now if you are interested in knowing more, be sure to check out my article “Losing Faith in Religious Higher Education: What happens when a seminary professor joins the religiously ‘unaffiliated’?” over at The Chronicle of Higher Education. Here’s a sample.
Raised in an evangelical home. Published by evangelical publishers. Taught at an evangelical seminary and divinity school. ThAT was my life until last year when — at the end of a long and difficult intellectual journey — I concluded I was actually a secular humanist and part of the growing demographic of Americans unaffiliated with a particular faith or church.
Being a person of faith is an academic credential in the evangelical world, so when it was clear that I no longer possessed that faith, I made the difficult decision to leave behind my full-time (nontenured) faculty position. Read the rest of the article…
Well-written articles, as usual. I look forward to your series on your reasons for de-affiliating. I appreciate your honesty, Brandon, and wish you well.
Thanks Matt. I appreciate it.
I love reading articles by people who have the integrity to
make difficult choices such as yours. It’s been thirty years since I got up and
left a cult. I didn’t lose my job but I did lose my marriage, my son and all my
acquaintances. It took time but I rebuilt my life and now have a new family and
friends, not acquaintances. Stories such as yours assure me that yes there are
folks out there who are still honest and unhypocritical.
Hi, Brandon. It would be pretty delusional of me to compare myself to the likes of you and Bart Ehrman, seeing how you contributed so much more and had much more to lose. BUT…I did get a biblical studies degree with the idea of being an evangelical pastor, and I did work for Billy Graham. And then over about three years of going through basically what I saw on your list–from Baptist through Episcopalian–I became an atheist. That was about 20 years ago. I regret that I have lost some of my close Christian friends, and there is some tension between me and my Christian daughter. But on balance, it was absolutely the right thing that I maintain my integrity as a primary goal, and in recent years I am finding more and more people who have followed a similar path. I honestly think that a tipping point is nearly upon us and experiences along these lines could become very common indeed. I wish you the very best on–and I hate myself for using this phrase but am too tired to come up with a better one–your journey.
Hi Brandon, I edited a collection of nearly three dozen first hand stories of people who left conservative Christian beliefs for more moderate and liberal Christian pastures, or for more inclusive non-Christian religions, or for agnosticism or atheism. I like to keep in touch with others, especially scholars who have left the fold, or grown more liberal as a result of their intensive studies. The book was titled, Leaving the Fold: Testimonies of Former Fundamentalists, and it was cited in an Oxford U Press book by Hemphill that came out later. His book was titled, Evangelical Disenchantment, another collection of testimonies similar to my own.
I also am fascinated by Christian history and have collected quotations regarding various events, mostly schisms, since much of Christian history consists of schisms too numerous to mention.
I wish you the best in all your future endeavors, and appreciate you sharing your story, since it is difficult, but also exciting to begin to rethink ones beliefs. And because for all the fanfare devoted to those entering a religious fold, sect or denomination, there isn’t nearly as much fanfare or support directed at those who leave. The leavers have only recently begun to share their stories, as have those whose views grew more moderate, progressive, etc. and in the Evangelical world, it’s only been about five years since Evangelicals formed their own strictly pro-evolution organization, BIOLOGOS.
Thanks everyone for connect with me here at the blog and sharing your stories. The responses I’ve received have been overwhelming and mostly on the friendly side, which is definitely better than being trolled. Please feel free to connect with me on Twitter if you’d like to stay in touch.
I know we connected on Facebook, but I thought I’d mention here that I did six posts at Biologos a number of years ago that looked at how Christians have changed in their readings of Genesis 1 over time.
I’m sorry to hear about the tension with family. Every major decision like this does have its difficulties, but I hope that eventually straightens out for you. It has been nice to see so many other individuals with a similar story. I hope that those who haven’t said anything yet will find the right place and time to do it.
“Journey” can be a bit cliched, but it is often the best understood term. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story here. I still have family to talk to post-article, but I couldn’t imagine the difficulties you faced losing everyone in your decision. Job loss is not nearly as painful, at least as I see it, as losing family, particularly as you did. Glad to hear you’ve arrived at a better place and have no regrets.
Cool. I noticed you were a contributor over there. I had not read any of your posts there. Though I did admire Godawa’s two research papers on ancient cosmology at BIOLOGOS, and wrote a full chapter on the topic, “The Cosmology of the Bible” that appeared in the book, The Christian Delusion (Prometheus Books, 2010), ed. by our mutual friend and ex-minister, John Loftus. https://books.google.com/books?id=UJ1vPJ1GLKcC&lpg=PA119&vq=The%20Cosmology%20of%20the%20Bible&pg=PA109#v=onepage&q&f=false